David Isaac

I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh)
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye
-“Say Goodbye,” Chris Brown

Pop singer Chris Brown is only 19-years-old but he’s a lot wiser than the purportedly nationalist Shas party, which can’t figure out that the right time to say goodbye to Prime Minister Ehud Olmert was a long time ago.

In early February, The Jerusalem Post broke a story revealing that Olmert’s foreign minister, Tzipi Livni, was holding secret talks and had made concessions on Jerusalem.

In an echo of the secret talks held by Yossi Beilin that led to the Oslo Accords and so much misery, the Post quoted a Palestinian Authority official, who said, "There are public meetings and there are secret ones. … The main progress has been achieved during the secret talks, particularly on the issue of Jerusalem. Today we can say that Israel is prepared to withdraw from almost all the Arab neighborhoods and villages in Jerusalem. Israel is prepared to re-divide Jerusalem, and this is a positive development."

Shas Chairman Eli Yishai, who serves as Trade and Labor minister, warned that if the story were true his party would pull out of the coalition. "If it is true, Shas will leave the government," Yishai stated flatly. "If secret negotiations begin tomorrow, we are leaving."

Olmert and Livni at first denied it, saying there were no secret channels on Jerusalem. “It is clear to all of the sides that the issue of Jerusalem will be the last issue on the agenda with the Palestinians," Olmert said.

Their denial quickly conflicted with statements by the Palestinian Authority’s chief negotiator, Ahmed Qurei, who said that Jerusalem was indeed on the table, putting Israel’s government in the awkward position of being less truthful than a terrorist entity.

A number of other PA figures gleefully chimed in. One said in an interview that Jerusalem "is not only on the table, it's also under the table." Meanwhile, Yishai was surprised to learn of the high number of meetings Livni had with Qurei. Wait, they’re meeting Monday and Tuesday?

Then, in response to a letter from a Jerusalem city council opposition leader demanding to know what the hell was going on, Livni replied bizarrely that she wouldn’t discuss what was being discussed with Qurei as "until there is an accord on every issue there will be no accord on any issue and that the contents of the negotiations must not be disclosed." However, "you cannot conclude anything from my lack of response and the absence of a denial is not any form of confirmation."

Huh?

This is the point where any self-respecting Shas Chairman (we can’t think of any but if there were) would click onto iTunes, call up Olmert and play Chris Brown into the receiver. Maybe throw in Gordon Jenkins singing, “So long, it’s been good to know ya,” for good measure.

Instead, Yishai decided that two can play at that game. Hey, we are the People of the Book. So he engaged in his own little wordplay, only more efficiently, swapping out the word “begin,” as in, when negotiations on Jerusalem begin, for “continue,” as in, “If negotiations on Jerusalem continue, Shas will immediately leave the government.” That was his statement to an American audience in Jerusalem.

The verbal gymnastics remind this writer of a signature line from “Yes, Prime Minister,” the popular British sitcom from the ’80s, which also happened to be Margaret Thatcher’s favorite show. Paul Eddington, the actor who played the show’s PM to perfection, when pressed as to when exactly he would fulfill this or that promise would reply, “In the fullness of time… when the moment is ripe… at the appropriate juncture.”

It meant never.

Nationalist groups are shouting at Shas to get out. Even Shas’s own Council of Torah Sages says quit. But it ain’t easy going cold turkey when you’re hooked on the government hand-outs that come with being part of the ruling coalition. Shas, a highly religious outfit, probably holds a contemptuous view of Israel’s secular establishment. It doesn’t look at Israel’s government as, well, a government so much as it does a bank account. And what idiot quits a bank account?

The problem for Shas is that it doesn’t want to go and speaks disingenuously because it feels it must pay lip service to its “principles”. Why not admit the truth? If you’re not going to stand up, you might as well give up. If you can’t “Say Goodbye,” Avalon’s “I Don’t Want To Go” ought to do it.

So come whatever,
(Whatever may come)
I'll stick with you.
(Right by your side)
I'll walk, you'll lead me,
Call me crazy or a fool,
For forever I promise you...

David Isaac is a free-lance writer living in California.